So I was just having a dope convo with someone on IG discussing Self-Care. What is it? What does it entail? And do we practice it? My definition of self-care is focusing on doing, saying, being things that not only make you happy but also, provides solace, peace of mind and quality of life for yourself so that you may be better, do better and overall, live better. I told this person I had to learn about self-care the hard way. Meaning, I had to be at my absolute lowest, in my darkest moments, where I was acting out of bitterness, anger, sadness and resentment at everyone. I was tired: mentally, physically and emotionally. I just wanted to turn my mind off, sit down and do absolutely nothing. But I couldn’t. Because I had a child to take care of. I had bills to be paid. Life just keeps going and I kept going until I just broke down and cried, many times, sometimes just out of nowhere. This ish is real. It’s not all rainbows, beaches, blue waters, dancing, headstands and muscle gains. It’s dark, lonely, sad, and it does not feel good. Everyone around you will see how you are and tell you, “you have to slow down”, “take a break”, “get a massage,” something. But all you hear is, well, how? Who’s going to watch my kid? Who’s going to make dinner? Clean the house? Etc? And even if you get offered help and do the thing, you feel guilty. You feel like you’re a bad person, a bad mother at that for leaving your child to have a few minutes to yourself. No one tells us this is ok. That taking time for yourself is not just okay but absolutely necessary. There sure ain’t no manual to life. We in this and we are gonna learn today.
We are constantly bombarded with these false assumptions that if we, just took a few moments for ourselves, are selfish, when in actuality, we are selfless! Why? Because it’s our right. Our right to self-care, peace of mind and quality of life. We already work so damn hard on a daily basis, we take care of our kids, go to work, get errands done and make sure all that needs to be done, is done. So WTH? Here’s a perfect analogy someone told me: it’s just like flying. What are we told when on a plane about the oxygen mask? Before doing anything, we must first place the oxygen mask on ourselves before our children or anyone else if heaven forbid something should happen. Why?? Because we are of no use when we aren’t good. The same damn thing applies to real life. And until we get it, we continue down a spiral of misery that our children will eventually see and feel is the correct way to live. So practice self-care for you and for you own mental and spiritual health. Any believe me, this awakening will not happen overnight. It will take some time so be gentle with yourself. And when you get to the point where you enjoy it and find that balance, there will be times you may be triggered by people’s comments, jokes, etc because as much as I feel right, I am still learning to adapt to this mindset and still sifting through my internal baggage to heal within, which is a lot of baggage I am still carrying from childhood but slowly releasing. Because, how you gonna win if you ain’t right within?? It starts with you first!
What is your experience with self-care??